Game of Thrones, season 7 episode 2, 'Stormborn' recap
Explosions!
Great groaning battle-ships! A lunatic in guy-liner! And that was just
the closing five minutes. It’s been a cautious start to Game of Thrones
season seven. But, following further, patience-testing re-arranging of
the chess pieces, episode two went out in a literal blaze of glory.
Euron Greyjoy – Captain Jack Sparrow, if Johnny Depp was slim,
Scandinavian and twice as over the top – was staging a smash and grab
raid on close family/ sworn enemies Theon and Yara. Galleons piled into
one another, Sand Snakes perished (was it wrong to cheer?), the thrill
factor blew through the roof.
Euron's appearance was one of those Game of Throne moments you’ll
always remember seeing for the first time. One minute Yara "I’ll snog
anything that moves" Greyjoy (Gemma Whelan) was cuddling with Ellaria
Sand (Indira Varma), the next Euron had invited himself on board via a
giant spiky battering ram straight from a Medieval retelling of Mad Max.
Whatever else the sociopathic seadog (Pilou Asbæk) gets up to this year
he can already claim the prize for best Game of Thrones entrance ever.
With the action came a devastating catharsis. Theon (Alfie Allen)
regressed into former-person Reek and legged it overboard, leaving Yara
and Ellaria to their unpleasant fate (presumably involving being
presented to Cersei with big shiny bow on top). Our minds had been
blown, emotions reduced to a smoking pyre.
This is the rest of what we learned.
Is Euron Game of Thrones’s silliest villain yet?
Joffrey was a loathsome wimp, Ramsay a psychopath with a bad haircut.
But Euron is something far more familiar – a bonkers villain of the old
school. There are no hidden depths to the new ruler of the Iron
Islands, unless you count the layers of emo make-up he’s mysteriously
acquired this season. He just wants to kill, maim and burn – if he can
achieve all three at once, so much the merrier.
Yet, with
his latest antics, he has more than earned his place in the show’s
rogues’s gallery. Armed with a post-apocalyptic battering ram, he
ransacked Theon and Yara’s fleet – as a bonus cutting down the (still
annoying) Sand Snakes.
"Give your uncle a kiss," Euron proceeded to leer at Yara as he
charged into action – an aside sure to go down as one of the season’s
outstanding one-liners. It was all too much for Theon, still clearly
working through his time as Ramsay’s crippled man-servant. Over the side
the Prince of the Pyke jumped – a leap with echoes of his vault over
the Winterfell battlements with Sansa. That had been the moment Reek was
reborn as Theon once again. But who was he now? Also – is Yara Euron’s
prisoner or has he merely slit her throat?
All is far from sunny in Dragonstone.
Daenerys’s return to the family
seat and place of her birth, was not quite the jubilee she had
anticipated. In a draughty castle, she gravely surveyed a raging storm.
Where were the approving crowds, the Targaryen loyalists ready to sweep
her back to power?
That the
Mother of Dragons (Emilia Clarke) was determined to bring the people
onside rather than burn Westeros to the ground with her dragons was
testament to her sense of right and wrong (a moral compass that hasn’t
always pointed in the correct direction) But that isn’t to suggest she
has gone soft and Varys (Conleth Hill), aka most Machiavellian soul in
Westeros, bore the brunt of her suspicions. He was a Robert supporter
who’d turned on the Baratheons – what was to stop him similarly
deserting Daenerys in the event of a more desirable candidate present
themselves?
"You wish to know where my loyalties lie…with the people," said the
former Master of Whisperers – who hadn’t sounded this single-minded
since bunging Tyrion into that wine crate at the start of season five.
This was enough to keep Daenerys onside – but was the show laying
groundwork for violent disagreements to come?
After Ed Sheeran, it was time for a surprise cameo from the Lady in Red
Sensitive souls are still haunted
by the ginger halfling’s shock appearance last week. Now came another
divisive figure with a reputation for making children scream in terror.
Exiled by Jon Snow, the Red Woman (Carice van Houten) had fetched up on
Daenerys’s doorstep.
She was
here at the behest of the Great God of Plot Devices. "I believe you have
a role to play…as does the King in the North, Jon Snow," said
Melisandre, a spectacularly unsubtle hint that the Mother of Dragons and
the lord of Winterfell might find common cause. "If he does rule the
north, he'll make an excellent ally," chimed Tyrion (Peter Dinklage),
with equal lack of artfulness. A Daenerys–Jon alliance has admittedly
long been on the cards – but did Game of Thrones have to spell it out so
clunkily? Let’s hope the series rediscovers its flair of understatement
as the season continues.
Will Jon Snow bend the knee to the Mother of Dragons?
Daenerys is very much up for an alliance with Jon Snow – albeit on
her terms. In Winterfell, Sansa – in her new position as Jon's neurotic
frenemy – warned of a possible Targaryen trap. An alternative
perspective was offered by Ser Davos. Dragons breath fire – and fire
destroys Walkers. The logic appealed to Snow – but is he risking all by
agreeing to a face-to-face meeting with the Mother of Dragons?
One thing he
definitely isn’t sitting on the fence about is Littlefinger’s baleful
influence on Sansa (Sophie Turner). The King in the North understandably
lost his cool after Lord Baelish (Aidan Gillen) confessed to pervy
uncle feelings for Sansa. Eeeugh. What big brother wouldn’t have lashed
out as precisely as Jon had?
Is Game of Thrones trying to make us lose our dinner?
After last week’s bed-pan
rhapsody, it was back to Oldtown for further gross-out visual humour. As
Ser Jorah (Iain Glen) chomped on a leather strap, Sam (John
Bradley-West) merrily hacked at his Greyscale infection – an excuse for
Game of Thrones to delight our senses with the crunch of splintering
skin and the wet pop of diseased flesh. The final hilarious flourish
came with a cut to a chap chomping a pie. Cheers Game of Thrones – it’s
going be years before we can even think about Cornish Pasty for lunch.
The episode felt like the Game of Thrones version of the Avengers
Enemies of Cersei… assemble!
Under the same roof were gathered Daenerys, Olenna Tyrell (Diana Rigg),
Ellaria Sand (pre-Euron Greyjoy run-in), Yara and Theon and Tyrion
Lannister. Opinions differed as to the smartest way of conquering the
Seven Kingdoms. Olenna and Ellaria were of the "torch first, ask
questions later" school – but Daenerys and Tyrion had a more subtle
plan. The Lannisters would be neutralised via a smash and grab raid by
the Unsullied on the House's seat at Casterly Rock. Cunning! But the
machinations were in truth an afterthought. The thrill was seeing all of
these great players gathered around a table together, nattering as if
they’d been best mates forever.
Can Cersei top her Wildfire moment?
It’s been an understated season
for Cersei (Lena Headey) thus far. Mostly the show has asked her to
prance around in black robes and look quietly gaga. However, this week
we had a glimpse of what she’s planning by way of encore after
destroying the Sept of Balor last year. In the bowels of the Red Keep
Qyburn (Anton Lesser) and the boys in r ’n d had worked up a prototype
giant crossbow – perfect for shooting pesky dragons from the sky.
Surrounded by enemies, with even Jaime doubting her, you wanted to
applaud Cersei for always having a trick up her sleeve – "trick" in this
case being the largest projectile weapon the Seven Kingdoms have yet
witnessed. Is it wrong to root for her?
Will Arya stop trying to kill everyone now?
"Jon Snow came down from Castle Black with a Wildling army and won
the Battle of the Bastards – he's King in the North now." Hot Pie’s
newsflash was just the excuse Arya (Maisie Williams) needed to abandon
Operation Kill Everyone (next on the list was Cersei Lannister) and
instead set course for Winterfell.
The first of
what will presumably be many tearful reunions followed as she
reconnected with beloved Direwolf Nymeria. Alas, the primordial pooch
wasn’t interested in a long-term get together. But she at least
persuaded her fellow peckish predators to forbear from ripping Arya to
pieces. By Game of Thrones standards, this constituted a properly
heart-warming moment. Also: how novel to sit through an episode in which
Arya didn’t poison/stab/ feed someone their own kin in baked snack
form.
